26 Comments
Jun 1Liked by Hamda Koya

I've experienced a bit of this, might not be this level but I can honestly relate a bit.

I don't want to say it gets easier with time because it doesn't but still we can reach a point where we can live with it.

I hope you keep being happy Hamda and your writing always leaves me in awe everytime!!!

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author

Thank you ❤️

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I love that self realization you got "We are probably nothing in a grad scale of things. People are born today, people also die too. The question becomes, is nature heartless?"

The answer is No,... There is just an order to things. Losing one of its dwellers won't affect the grand scale of things as it has lost even more in wars. But how does it fix itself?

It heals! That's the same principle it teaches us to; always have times to heal. In healing, you restore yourself to your peak state.

Another thing you said I strongly agree with is " Suicidal people don't want to die". If they have a reason not to, they won't " but sadly, at that point, it's like the voice in their head lies " nobody is coming to save you". It's that isolation in body, soul and spirit that drives a person into making that decision.

Dear Hamda, I still want to read your beautiful stories and see you someday. Yeah I do. So be a good girl okay! You got people..

A lot of them who truly care about you. Add that to your list of things to remember! 😇

P. S: Good to know you are helping others solve their problems.. that's admirable. Good luck dear.

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author

Thank you! I’ll hold you up to seeing some day. You’re paying 🔥😌

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Hahaha, I would love that... You better don't forget that. So you MUST hold on.. okay?

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author

Gotcha captain 🔥

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Jun 1Liked by Hamda Koya

Mehn. . . I don’t know what to say. I hope you’re well and fine though? It’s well.

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author

I’m fine and well ❤️

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This speaks to me in more ways than one. My parents were always at logger heads and my mum poured that frustration on my sisters and I. I envied other families that could talk freely to their parents without worrying about troubles at night and I eventually thought of cutting myself.

I almost did until something changed my mind. The voices in my head are quieter now but I'm still a work in progress

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author

Sending you the warmest hugs in the world. It’s so hard to have parents who you can’t speak freely with. I’m like that with my dad and I get jealous of people who have a close relationship with their dad. But heck, life goes on.

I’m happy the voices in your head are quieter now. Rooting for you ❤️

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If only I can put my thoughts at the moment into words!

I’ll come back to this when I feel calm enough to articulate my thoughts.

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Jun 2Liked by Hamda Koya

Not only do I strongly relate to this, more than I'd like to, but you are also a very good writer, wow. I'm so glad your work appeared in my notes feed! Being publically vulnerable is something I'm learning, and your newsletter might just be a good help.

Thank you for sharing all of this!

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author

You’re most welcome! Looking forward to spotting your comments in more stories 🤗

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I’m not sure I knew what to expect when I saw the title. This…everything you wrote, some of it, I could relate to. It felt like you took a look in my head and wrote your discoveries down.

To everyone out there searching for happiness, I hope you find it. I hope you have many happy days and I hope the sad days aren’t filled with such terrible thoughts but just sadness which is part of the human experience. Thank you, Hamda.❤️

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author

You’re welcome 🫂🥺

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"So, I do not want to die. I just want the hurting, the voices, and the panic attacks to stop. That’s the foundation of my suicidal thoughts. If they stop, I would stop wanting to kill myself."

I can so relate to this and the thoughts were heavy years ago. I had to force the happiness and try everything I could to create distractions and push out those thoughts. This wasn't easy and took me years to get through it.

Thank you so much for sharing story. You are appreciated.🌺🩷

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author

You’re welcome. I’m so happy you got through it ❤️🫂

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“You surround yourself with things and people that make you happy, and you milk it.

You refuse to choose to die.”

Still working on mastering this. Trying my best!

I love everything about this. I loved the flow. You’ve got a new subscriber.

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author

Thank you! 🥺

Welcome to the other side.

I’ll be looking out for your comments.

And I wish you luck in mastering it. Sending hugs 🤗❤️

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Jun 6Liked by Hamda Koya

I do feel a sense of comfort reading from you🫂 thank you for still being here. I have learnt a lot from this (I always learn from your stories). Thank you for choosing happiness and showing us how to. Sending you warm hugs🫂❤️

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Jun 3Liked by Hamda Koya

I kinda also got a new perspective on the happiness is a choice phrase. Honestly. Thank you🫶. Love and sparkles. ✨❤️

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Jun 3Liked by Hamda Koya

This was so beautiful and touching. Honestly. I related so much especially the part about your mum thinking that people will use "it" against you. My mum is also like that always trying to keep it secret.

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Thank your for choosing to overshare. ❤️

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I love how vulnerable you are in your writings. I really do.❤️

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I will have to read this in stages. Because. I am too alive and on the brink not to feel every word beneath my eyelids and under my skin.

Thank you for surviving. And writing his. And showing me how.

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author

you are most welcome.

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